Saturday, 16 May 2009

Utterances Imagined

Debating the various options while booking flights for a girly pink glittery weekend escape with some friends, my husband texted me:
"After all, you are too old to travel in Economy" Hmmm. Compliment? Insult? You decide. I couldn't.
Reporting this on twitter, Mrs Trefusis pointed out that it was probably one of the top 5 things a woman would like to hear. Here are some more.
A List of
The BEST THINGS Husbands and/or Boyfriends
(oh, are they mutually exclusive)
Could Say. But Don't.

  1. Your bum looks tiny in those jeans, you should get them in every colour.

  2. Here's your tea & toast darling, and the papers. Why don't you stay in bed, I'll take the children to the park for the morning.

  3. You're so rubbish at loading the dishwasher, from now on, it's my job.

  4. Oh, is Cindy Crawford the same age as you.. I always thought she was MUCH older.

  5. I'm just ordering some computer manuals from Amazon, why don't you have a look and order anything you want.

  6. Don't worry darling, it's perfectly normal for a woman of your age to stare at very handsome young men.

  7. You're right, shiny gold strappy sandals aren't quite right with that outfit, you should try to find some slightly matt gold strappy sandals. And matching clutch, obv.

  8. Oh, sweetheart, you look like you've got a terrible headache. Try to get a good nights sleep.

  9. I find those very toned, flat stomachs so unwomanly.

Any more..... ?


  1. Here is a little bonus for you darling - please, go to Selfridges and see what is new in the handbag dept. I was thinking a 2.55 could be useful.

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  3. Here's another real-life comment that should come under the "things we DON'T want to hear" list:

    Other Half (apparently trying to console me on a day when I'm feeling like a baby hippo): "Darling, you're not fat - just a bit deformed!"

    He still wonders, to this day, why I wanted to whack him with the frying pan at that point....

    ....apparently male chromosomes are missing that vital sensitivity chip.

  4. Hiya, have given you a little award over at my blog; sorry if you've already got it but love your work!!! Off for my little tipple now (white wine yum yum!)

  5. How about "No, they're not quite right are they? Better go back to the first shop you went into. Who'd have thought it? Those sweet little Manolo's really were perfect after all..."

  6. "You can never have enough shoes, my love".
    "I love watching your favourite films".
    "Can you help me pick out something to wear"

    Actually that last one, I get from my male friends all the time, but generally not from any boyfriends, ever :)